Day 1 Malaga – Stockholm aka The Descent into Hell
Airport stops are traditionally boring affairs, but this ones already provided us with some highlights. Security is normally the bane of everyones existence. we all know you’re not allowed numerous innocuous objects onboard lest you were to attempt to hijack an entire aircraft with the power of your mighty mascara tube. IMagine the giggle we got out of the tattoed lady in front of us who saw fit to try and go through with a fully fledged dagger in her bag…”oh is that not allowed then”?…err, no love, I think you’ll find it is probably a sticking point, no pun intended.
A brief comfort stop at a hideously overpriced cafe ensued while we waited to pile ourselves sardine style into our tin can. A couple of drinks, coffees, and pan inis…£40, yea that seems reasonable mate, nothing like starting off the day with a coffee and an ass rape, cheers for that. Speaking of the panini…unless your palette savours the taste of sweaty arab armpit, I would avoid the so called humous filling. Next time ill go to a gym, ask someone to please allow me to give their hairy armpit a good seeing to and save myself the 5 euros.
Onto my favourite part. …the aircraft. Oh the joys of sharing confined space with a bunch of coughing strangers! Here’s my thought of the day folks…on a short flight one MUST choose between the views or the toilet..yep, it’s that simple. If you opt for the views you should show your fellow travellers some courtesy and dehydrate yourself so you don’t bother people with your need to pee…you can’t have it both ways!! There i said it. If you ask me to get up to make way for your bladder expect a big massive…Doooooooooh!!! Yes, live with it, window hogger!!!!!.